ADAPT

Hi everyone.  I have not wrote anything in a while.  I have not been feeling Johnny Positive lately so there's that.

In this life, we take one trip around the Merry Go Round.  That's it.  So I have always felt it best to be kind to people, help when you can, love and be loved.  That is my philosophy.

It's a shame that many others don't share that common view with me.

I'm not going to get into specifics here, but I can tell you that in life its a sad fact when sometimes the people who are supposed to be closest are the furthest.  No matter how many times you extend your hand, open your arms, speak kind words, they are kicked back in your face and followed by spit once in a while.  I will also tell you that in this life, I feel alone at times.  However, I think we all do.  We all feel defeated every once in a while.  We feel abandoned from time to time.  Sometimes the frustrations in life get the best of you and those who are closest (and don't go anywhere) catch the shit of what you're dealing with.

We take on too much because at times we feel like we have to.  There's no choice and sometimes no going back.  We accept a job we may not be qualified for.  We bear children when we're not grown up ourselves.  We allow people into our lives that we are in no shape to be around.  Yes, we're a society that bites off more than they can chew at all times.

However there's one thing we do and it separates the can dos from the won'ts.

Adaptation.

When I had my kids I was scared to death.  In fact, in the beginning, I was working so much I was never home to see Jersey grow the first few months she was born.  Vicki felt like she was a single mother.  I will never make that mistake again.  This is why I don't go out with the boys.  This is why I spend weekends with my family.  I want to be the greatest dad ever.  Yes I can be spacey because I have too much work shit on the brain.  Yes I lose my patience with life from time to time.  However, I love my family more than anything.  I want to be the best husband, father, and its what I aspire to.

So I need to adapt to the situations going on.

We all do.  It's in the best interest of our growth and development.  I don't give a shit what you all may think.  You are not done growing up.  If you think you are, you have issues my friend.

We all do the best we can and when we fail.  We need to get back up and try again.  Its like that

Mike C

YOU PISS ME OFF BUT...

The last couple of weeks have been a complete whirlwind of crap going on.  Changes at job, big plans for life, possible financial constraints, yada yada yada.  Game face is on 24/7 ready to strike.  No time for good behavior, no days off.  We are here for one reason.  To dominate the obstacles that stand in our way.

The sad thing is some of those obstacles come from out of nowhere.  At sometimes it can be the least expected source of anxiety.  It can be a family member, a friend, someone you are trying to do business with, vendors who may be participating in one of the biggest days of your life.  All this angst is enough to get you down.  I know for a fact I have been teetering between anger and despair.

However, those are feelings, thoughts and moments that last for well a moment.

To keep a guy like me down, you need a gun, a knife, duck tape maybe.  If you don't have them, don't bother showing up to the party because I am determined and driven to do good things for the people who matter most.

Sure, you may try to crap on my special parade.  You might be jealous of what I have accomplished and wish you could do it as well.  You probably could but you don't have the balls to do anything but sit around and bitch.  You wish you could find sollutions like I do.  You wish you could get back up and run like I do.  And most of all, you wish you could smile like I do.

The funny thing about the haters, if they could just take a step back and see what they are angry about, they will find it pales in comparison to the positive they could find it they would look for it.

The keys to life are love, support, belief, and faith.  If you can find these four things, you let stuff like this roll off.  No matter how hard the storm blows.  No matter how much venom they shoot at you.  No matter what they try, you have it all.  You are the best.  You can do whatever you want.  Push through the wall of problems and end up in the room of happiness.

Life is a fight 24/7.  Put your gloves on and box your way out of the issue.  You will be the champion.  Sometimes it may take one round, but others it can take a hundred.  Even if people close to you are trying to jump on your cloud and make it your own, remember they can stay they for a while, but its your cloud and you make the rules.  If they don't want to rules, pray they have a parachute on their way down.

You want in my house?  Fine.  You can drink the coffee, but you don't have to leave if you don't like how it tastes.  The people who stay in the house are the ones you can love, support, believe in and faith they will be there for you, always.

You piss me off but you won't ruin my shine.  Be productive.  Work on your shine rather than ruining mine pallie.

Mike C

I LOVE SURPRISES

There are times in life when things just happen and you do your best to go with it.

Sometimes they are good things and sometimes bad.

Life is a series of situations or as they say in the counseling world "neutral prompts."  Your reaction dictates the outcome of unexpected event or situation.  It's always good to keep an open mind everyday you live.  You never know what is going to happen.  Sometimes you may be sitting in a car and some jabroni hits you, other days you are sitting in your office and a bomb drops on you.  Not a nuclear bomb, but something really fricking cool happens.

It's these moments in life where you want to enjoy these moments.

I always try to maintain my life with these three simple principles.

First, always be kind to everyone.  No matter what.  Even if they piss you off.  Yes, Capone said you can get further in life with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word alone, but we don't all have guns because we don't need them, yet.  Killing people with kindness is always more advisable than killing people with guns.  You can always go back from giving kindness with more kindness, and there is no jail time involved.

Secondly, if you do get a gift or present from someone, always appreciate it.  Like Christmas bonuses for instances. I can't stand when people say "oh my Christmas bonus sucked."  You work at a job where you are guaranteed payment for the job you perform.  You get a bonus because it's a bonus. Many people out there get no Christmas bonus.  Therefore be grateful that you did, and love life.

And third, when you get surprised, act accordingly.

Life is about enjoying those little precious moments, and when someone gives you something, be thankful.  They thought of you for some reason.  Pay it forward, and always be respectful, kind, and humbled.  It goes a long way.

Mike C
  

CLIMATE WONT CHANGE ME

Here in Chicago, four words best sum up the winter.  This weather really sucks.

We have had polar vortexs, huge snowfalls, only to be followed up by a storm going on now with lots of wind and rain to boot.  I keep hearing the wonderful sound of our sump pump and the wind banging on windows.

The weather can make you depressed.  I really wrestle with it every winter.  I need to be surronded by sunshine constantly.  This is a huge reason why I want to move to Florida.  Hawaii, if not so expensive, would be a viable option as well.

However some times you play the hand you are dealt and you try to make the best of it.  And sometimes you need to be grateful of a few things and it puts it in perspective for you.

The winter night can be quite a sight, and many out there cannot see it because they are blind.

I don't have to be in the cold 24/7 because I am fortunate enough to provide that for my family, but many are not as lucky as me.

I drive my car to work, some people have to walk.  Worse yet, there are some people who cannot walk.

Many people spend this time of year alone.  I have a family that I can share good times with.

I am reminding myself that I am blessed.  Although I wish I can be somewhere else right now, I can't become depressed or spiteful because of the climate.  Weather is a problem we all deal with in some capacity.  I thank God that I can breath the cold air that's suffocating but I can go inside and walk it off.  There are others not as lucky.

Climate won't change me, and I pray to God he help those who need help.

Mike C

PAYING WITH A SMILE

How nice can you be to someone?  Can you put yourself out there to really help?  Have you ever?

Tonight I was on a long trek home after a couple of appointments and I stopped at one of my favorite places, Pita Inn.  I went to get a sandwich and there was this woman who ordered food for her family and they kept telling her something was wrong with her credit card.  She plead with the cashier to run her card again and he did, but it was the same result, declined.  She ran outside frantically to call her husband and came back in to say that her husband said there was enough money.  The cashier disagreed.  She seemed very upset.

I went into my pocket, whipped out my credit card and paid for her meal.  The cashier and the woman didn't know how to react.  When asked why, my response:

You can't go into the Pita Inn and leave without food.  

The woman was very grateful and she thanked me and left.

One of the things I have learned in life is when you put positive energy into the universe, it comes back.

I got Jersey to sleep tonight and then had to go outside to shovel my driveway buried under at least a foot of snow.  I got halfway through it with my shovel when my neighbor across the street walked over and asked if I could use help.  He had a snowplow.  I said sure and he came over and finished off the driveway.  We introduced ourselves, shook hands, had a beer and called it a night.

A nice end to a trying day of white knuckle driving.  I did not get home until late, but I did get to hang out with the kids a little bit, and saw my beautiful soon to be wife as well.

It's days like this that are special.  When you put that positive energy into play and it comes back.  You pay it forward, and someone follows you.  From what I hear it was a crappy movie, but the concept was simple and wonderful.

Find ways to take care of people when you can.  Whether you fill up their gas, help them with food, hold a door open; every move you make can and will affect others around you.  It's always important to think about what you would like someone to do.

There is so much negativity in our world.  However, we can all make a difference together if we learn how to watch out for each other, and make life better for one person per day.  

I started this today.  It's up to you to never break the chain.  Keep the movement alive.  Do something wonderful for someone.  Random acts of kindness can be the best thing in someone's day.  Life is about making people smile.  

So make someone smile today.

Mike C

THE RIDE AND THE NOISE

"All the noise and everything out there, you can get whiplash if you allow yourself to."-Erik Spoelstra

As you may have heard, Vicki and I are getting married in roughly 6 months or so.  The journey so far has been fun, challenging, and without a doubt, one of the biggest tests in our lives.  Not due to our love for each other, but all the stress that comes with planning an event.  The financial end, the advice, the not knowing what is the best course of action, etc, etc.  This is our ride.

What is your ride?  What is your dream?

Did you ever engage yourself in something that takes over everything else in your life?  Have you ever looked for support and what you got back was limited?  Did you ever try to get on that bicycle and start pedaling down the trail, only to have your team mates tell you you took the wrong path?  How about when you ride down that path, one of your team mates decides to stop and then take their bike and go home?  Then there's that time where you need to stop riding because you know the trail is going to get treacherous and you have to mentally prepare yourself for what's ahead of you, but one of your team mates insist that you go forward, and if you don't, you're not part of the team, and you never really did anything to contribute in the past.  You also think about the times you assembled your team and some people didn't even want to be in it.

That my friends is noise.  The noise allows you to focus on it.  To hear it can break you.  You get distracted and focus on it.  Most of the time, it is so overwhelming it is impossible to ignore.  The fever pitch of it can make you feel hopeless, hurt, angry, upset, insecure, and worst case scenario, defeated.  Noise can be a bad thing, however it can be a motivating factor to attribute to achieving victory.

I heard something new in the last month.  When someone says I can't, I say watch me.  Since I have heard that, I have decided that is one of my rallying cries.  I have spent my life proving people wrong.  I have achieved when many said I wouldn't.  I have dreamed and lived it.  I am very fortunate and blessed to have the life that I have and that God has given me the sense of direction and purpose that I have.  As I have said many times before, we are all blessed.  We were given another day.  Every time we wake up in the morning we are blessed to listen to the birds sing, smell the air, and enjoy our families company once again.

So why we would let a little thing like noise get in the way of that?

In life, some people aren't going to be supportive, no matter what their role in our lives are.  They can be as thin as that dude you grew up with, or thick as your immediate family, not everyone is going to do the right thing all the time, and sadly stated, will never do the right thing ever.  The only thing you can focus on is will you do the right thing?  Will you show people you love that you care?  Will you be there on the side of your team mates and partners?  Will you ride down that path with them if they pick it despite how you feel about it?

Once you do that, you know that you rock.  And you is what matters here.

So find that volume knob and turn the down noise.

And turn up the greatness that is you.

Mike C

THE COLLISION

"An accident doesn't exist when it comes to automobiles.  There are only collisions.  Accidents are not preventable.  When collisions happen they're a result of poor decision making."-Some guy in a traffic school class that works for the National Safety Council.

Whether this is true or not, isn't the point of this post.

I was on my way home, family in car.  We just enjoyed a nice dinner at Mandiles in Algonquin and stopped by Meijer to pick up a few things from the store.  On our way home, a young kid didn't allow me enough time to make my turn and turned right into me.  Everyone in the car was OK.  Not much damage to my car, but the steering seems off, so I'll have to get that checked out.

When I got home, I really thought about the collision.  I thought about the speed in which it happens.  Vicki and the kids didn't see it coming.  I saw him start to turn before I completed my turn and I accelerated a little bit, but he may not have been paying attention so he bopped me.  He got the rear drivers side tire.  If I hadn't accelerated, he would have hit my door or worse yet Avery's.  The kid had to be at about 5 MPH or so.  He was leaving a stop sign.

Now think about it if the guy was cruising down the road at 35-40 MPH and hit me.  What would have happened then?

You see the point here is that it can all change for you in the blink of an eye.  Here one second, gone the next.  You may be walking across the same street you walked across for ten years, and you get hit one day.  It's good to be vigilant and watch out for oncoming cars, hazards, things like that, but I can think of one thing you need to be.

Grateful.

Always be grateful every day that God has allowed you another day to live and make the most of what you have.  That your number has not been called yet.  In a split second, you can be gone, and everyone you leave behind feels pain.  It was one split second when my mother passed out in a huge office building and help didn't reach her quick enough and just like that.  She was taken from me.  She fought for ten days to live, but she just couldn't do it.

This is why I exercise and make a conscious effort to eat right every day.  For my family.  I accept the life God has given me.  I will make the most of it and I will encourage others to think carefully about decisions.  I encourage you all to show a great deal of love to those closest to you.  It was once said to me "end every meeting with the people you care about on a positive note."  It's true.  I love my three girls and I make sure every night they know that.

A collision takes a second.  A life can be taken in a second.  However it only takes a second to express how much you love.  Take more than a second and make sure they all know.

Mike C